Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
