Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
