I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
