i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize