Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
