She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
