Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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