They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
