Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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