Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
