"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
