Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
