Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize