your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
