its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Someone shattered a urinal.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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