I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize