the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize