that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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