at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it's like iHOP with fire
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
