You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
