Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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