it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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