do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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