you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
