Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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