Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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