I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
