He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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