the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
