those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
