Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
