Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
