he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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