To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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