How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
