What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
