I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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