you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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