I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
