But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
