The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
