ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
