dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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