I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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