Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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