it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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