This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
