We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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