so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
