What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
