Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
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