Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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