Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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