Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
