Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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