The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
