I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize