they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
