tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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