No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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