VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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